Why Are So Many Strong Women So Tired?

On International Women’s Day, we celebrate strength.

Resilience. Achievement. Progress.

But in my counselling room, I often see a quieter reality.

I sit with women who are skilled, caring, and exhausted.

Not just “I need a weekend off” tired, but bone-deep, nervous-system tired.

It can look like:

• waking at 4 a.m. with a racing mind

• feeling a tight chest before the day begins

• carrying the sense that there is no space to fall apart because too many people depend

on you

For many women in midlife, menopause can amplify this exhaustion, as hormonal shifts make the

nervous system more sensitive to long-term stress.

Part of this fatigue comes from emotional labour — the invisible work of managing feelings,

relationships, and environments. It often goes unnoticed until it stops happening.

Emotional labour can include:

• The mental load: tracking schedules, appointments, birthdays, and household needs

• Relationship management: mediating conflicts, smoothing tensions, and ensuring others

feel cared for

• Suppressing personal needs: swallowing frustration, hiding exhaustion, and saying “I’m

fine” when you’re not

• Social conditioning: many women are praised early for being nurturing and responsible

Awareness is the first step. Small shifts can help:

• Name the invisible work. Start the conversation.

• Set compassionate boundaries.

• Stop “parenting” other adults.

• Ask directly for support.

Sometimes strength begins with allowing yourself the same care you so easily give to everyone else.