What to Expect When You Begin Counselling
Taking the first step toward counselling can feel both hopeful and a little intimidating.
You may know exactly why you're reaching out. Or you may simply have a sense that something isn't quite right and that you could use some support.
You might be wondering:
"What do I say? Will I have to tell my whole story? What if I cry? How do I know if this counsellor is right for me?"
These are all very normal questions.
At Inward Passage Counselling, I offer a free 15-minute new client consultation before beginning counselling. This gives us a chance to connect, talk about what is bringing you to counselling, and see whether working together feels like a good fit.
If you decide to continue, your first formal counselling session is a full 60-minute or 90-minute session where we can begin exploring your concerns in greater depth.
Here's what you can expect.
Step One: Your Free 15-Minute Consultation
The consultation is designed to make reaching out for counselling feel a little easier.
You don't need to prepare anything or tell me your entire story. In fact, you don't need to know exactly what you need before we talk.
During our conversation, I'll ask you a little about what has brought you to counselling and what kind of support you're looking for.
You might say:
"I've been feeling overwhelmed for a long time, and I'm finally ready to talk to someone."
Or:
"I'm going through a major life transition, and I'm struggling to figure out what's next."
Or simply:
"I don't really know what's wrong. I just don't feel like myself."
All of these are good places to begin.
We'll Talk About What You're Looking For
The consultation gives us an opportunity to briefly explore:
What has been happening in your life
What prompted you to reach out now
What you'd like support with
Whether you've had counselling before
What you're hoping might be different as a result of counselling
You don't need to have clearly defined goals.
Sometimes understanding what you need is part of the work we do together.
My Approach
I'll share a little about how I work and the approaches I use in counselling.
My work is trauma-informed, relational, and client-centred. I draw from several therapeutic approaches depending on what each person needs. This may include Somatic Therapy, Compassionate Inquiry, CBT-informed strategies, Narrative Therapy, and other evidence-informed practices.
I don't believe counselling should be about fitting you into a particular therapy model.
The therapy should fit the person.
We'll Talk About Fit
The consultation is also an opportunity for both of us to consider whether we might be a good fit.
The therapeutic relationship matters. You should feel that you can be yourself, that you will be listened to without judgment, and that the way we work together feels comfortable and respectful.
You might leave the consultation thinking:
"I think this person understands what I'm looking for."
Or you may decide that another counsellor would be a better fit.
Either way, that's okay.
Finding the right counsellor is an important part of beginning therapy.
Step Two: Your First Counselling Session
If you decide to continue, your first formal counselling session gives us the time and space to begin looking more deeply at what's happening in your life.
This isn't an interview or a test, and there are no right answers.
We will begin wherever it makes sense for you.
I may ask questions such as:
What has been difficult for you?
How is this affecting your day-to-day life?
When did you first begin noticing this?
What have you tried so far?
What helps, even a little?
What would you like to be different?
What would you like me to understand about you?
Sometimes you'll have clear answers.
Sometimes you won't.
"I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer.
We can be curious about that together.
You Don't Have to Tell Me Everything
One of the biggest concerns people have when starting counselling is:
"Do I have to tell my whole story?"
No.
You decide what you're ready to share.
If you've experienced trauma, grief, a difficult relationship, or something deeply personal, you don't have to tell me everything in the first session—or even at all.
We can move at a pace that feels manageable for you.
You can say:
"I'm not ready to talk about that yet."
You can ask to slow down.
You can change the subject.
You can tell me that something feels uncomfortable.
These are all welcome in the counselling relationship.
Safety and trust are more important than getting through your entire history.
We May Begin Noticing What Is Happening in Your Body
Because I work from a somatic perspective, I may sometimes invite you to notice what is happening in your body as we talk.
For example:
"What do you notice in your body as you talk about that?"
"Do you notice any tension or tightness?"
"What happens inside when you think about that situation?"
You don't need to be good at noticing your body, and you don't have to come up with an answer.
Somatic counselling isn't about forcing you to feel something.
It's about becoming more curious about the connection between your thoughts, emotions, body, and nervous system.
Sometimes our bodies are communicating something before we have words for it.
We Will Begin Identifying What You Want from Counselling
You may come into counselling with a very specific concern.
Perhaps you're experiencing:
Anxiety or overwhelm
Grief or loss
A difficult life transition
Relationship challenges
Trauma-related experiences
Burnout or exhaustion
Changes in identity or sense of self
Feeling stuck or disconnected
Difficulty understanding your emotions
Or you simply know:
"Something needs to change."
Together, we can begin identifying what you would like to understand, change, or work toward.
Sometimes your initial concern isn't the whole story.
For example, someone might come to counselling because they're struggling with anxiety. As we explore their experience, they may discover that boundaries, self-worth, grief, or a major life transition are also part of what they're navigating.
We don't have to figure all of that out in the first session.
Counselling is a process of discovery.
It's Okay to Cry
You might cry during counselling.
You might laugh.
You might become angry.
You might feel relieved.
You might feel nothing at all.
You might even find yourself saying:
"I don't know why I'm crying."
You don't need to apologize.
Counselling provides a space for emotions that we don't always have room for in everyday life.
There is no "right" way to feel during your first session.
We Will Talk About Your Strengths Too
Counselling isn't only about what's wrong.
We'll also pay attention to the strengths, resources, relationships, experiences, and coping strategies that have helped you get this far.
You have already developed ways of navigating difficult experiences.
Some of those strategies may continue to serve you well. Others may have once been helpful but aren't working as well anymore.
Together, we can become curious about what is working, what isn't, and what you might want to do differently.
What If I Don't Know What I Need?
You don't have to.
Many people come to counselling knowing that they aren't feeling well but not knowing exactly what would help.
That's okay.
Sometimes the first part of counselling is simply slowing down enough to understand what's happening.
We may start with:
"Let's make sense of what you're experiencing."
From there, we can begin identifying what you need and what changes might be helpful.
At the End of Your First Session
Near the end of our first session, we'll take some time to reflect on what we've talked about.
We may identify some initial areas you'd like to explore and begin thinking about what our work together might look like.
You may leave with a clearer understanding of what you're experiencing.
You may have a few things to think about.
Or you may simply feel relieved that you've finally said some things out loud.
You don't need to solve your problems in your first counselling session.
The first session is about beginning the process.
What Should You Do Before Your First Session?
You don't need to prepare a speech or write out your entire life story.
If it feels helpful, you might spend a few minutes thinking about:
Why am I reaching out now?
What has been difficult lately?
What would I like to be different?
What would I like my counsellor to understand about me?
You might also write down any questions you have about counselling.
And if you arrive and say:
"I don't know where to start."
That's okay.
We can start there.
Beginning Counselling Is an Act of Courage
Sometimes asking for help is one of the hardest steps.
You may have spent years managing things on your own. You may be accustomed to being the person others rely on. You may have become very good at carrying difficult things quietly.
Reaching out doesn't mean you're failing.
It means you're recognizing that you don't have to do everything alone.
At Inward Passage Counselling, I aim to offer a warm, respectful, and non-judgmental space where you can slow down, become curious about your experience, and begin moving toward greater clarity and self-understanding.
You don't have to have all the answers before you begin.
You just have to take the first step.
Ready to Explore Whether Counselling Might Be Right for You?
I offer a free 15-minute new client consultation where we can talk about what is bringing you to counselling, answer any questions you may have, and see whether working together feels like a good fit.
You don't have to figure it all out before reaching out.
Let's start where you are.